I've surfed the SPICEWAVE

I’ve been reading the back sleeve of the Spice Girls’ 1997 double A-side single Mama/Who Do You Think You Are:

“JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Listen, you lot! The rush is already on. You can’t be a true SPICER if you haven’t joined our one and only SPICE GIRLS MAGAZINE CLUB yet! Forget all the rip-offs you see in the shops, this is the real thing!
For just £10 a year you’ll get four issues of SPICE, the official Girl Power magazine that’s fast becoming a collector’s item. Since it’s actually WRITTEN AND EDITED by us, the Spice Girls, just for you, it’s got all the inside information (you’re dying to know), PLUS personal pictures that you won’t see anywhere else! Don’t be left out in the cold! You just haven’t been SPICED if you haven’t got SPICE, so get hip, get real, and get inside SPICEWORLD (surf the SPICEWAVE) today! And hurry up about it, before the first issue is sold out.”

Well that’s a relief. To be honest, I was a little worried that the Spice Girls' aggressive PR department might have been fobbing me off throughout the late ‘90s with tri-monthly sheets of shiny paper that I didn’t really need. How silly of me, of course they weren’t! As the sleeve-quote clearly states, it was the Girls’ job to protect us from being ripped off. You know, I often feel sorry for the stupid eight-year olds of today, who are so easily taken in by the brazen sales gimmicks of acts like Girls Aloud and Paul Weller. They’ll never know the unbreakable bond of friendship and trust that exists between the Spice Girls and I. So thanks for everything Baby, Geri, Scary, Posh, Baby and Geri, and see you at the 0₂Arena – at only £297 a ticket, you bet I’ll be there!

Readers in the 18-30 demographic might like to note that I have just made a very funny reference to the Spice Girls’ 1996 hit “Say You’ll Be There”, in which the listener is encouraged to “say you’ll be there”. Enjoy that, won’t you.